Groan Time – The young won’t get this!

Today marks the anniversary of death of the world’s greatest mind-reader… He was said to have inherited his gifts from his parents. Our thoughts are with his family!.

Adam met Eve and turned over a new leaf.
A womans strategy; Admit nothing, deny everything and make counter-accusations.

Funny Love Quotes- Forwarders

Relationships….

Being miserable because of a former relationship means that the other person was right about you.

At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.

Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
“I came from a real tough neighborhood. In the local restaurant I sat down & had broken leg of lamb.
They say you only only use 10% of your brain. What about the other 30%?
“My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.”
I love defenseless animals……especially in a good gravy

Rodney Dangerfield's Best One-Liners

Sad to hear the guy who invented TV remote controls went missing.
The good news is He was found a couple of weeks later, down the back of the couch.
A new study has found that women with large bums tend to live longer than men that mention it….
The average man burns off 125 calories after having sex for an hour…
If he was having sex for an hour he is not an average man.
I’m hiding from exercise at present – I’m in the ‘Fitness Protection Program’