Adam met Eve and turned over a new leaf.
A womans strategy; Admit nothing, deny everything and make counter-accusations.
- Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
- Being miserable because of a former relationship means that the other person was right about you.
- At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
- Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.
- Always believe a woman when she says: “You don’t want to know!”
- Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
- “I came from a real tough neighborhood. In the local restaurant I sat down & had broken leg of lamb.
- They say you only only use 10% of your brain. What about the other 30%?
- “My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.”
- I love defenseless animals……especially in a good gravy
- Sad to hear the guy who invented TV remote controls went missing.
The good news is He was found a couple of weeks later, down the back of the couch.
- A new study has found that women with large bums tend to live longer than men that mention it….
- The average man burns off 125 calories after having sex for an hour…
If he was having sex for an hour he is not an average man.
- I’m hiding from exercise at present – I’m in the ‘Fitness Protection Program’
Smart ass employee….
A ‘Dad’ text…
Dead or stupid…
Extra Groan Time….