Daily Quotes and One Liners, March 18

Funny Love Quotes- Forwarders

Relationships….

  • Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
  • Being miserable because of a former relationship means that the other person was right about you.
  • At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
  • Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.
  • Always believe a woman when she says: “You don’t want to know!”

Daily Dump Of Quotes and One Liners…

  • Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
  • “I came from a real tough neighborhood. In the local restaurant I sat down & had broken leg of lamb.
  • They say you only only use 10% of your brain. What about the other 30%?
  • “My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.”
  • I love defenseless animals……especially in a good gravy

Daily Dump of Quotes and One Liners, March 8

Rodney Dangerfield's Best One-Liners

  • Sad to hear the guy who invented TV remote controls went missing.

    The good news is He was found a couple of weeks later, down the back of the couch.

  •  A new study has found that women with large bums tend to live longer than men that mention it….
  • The average man burns off 125 calories after having sex for an hour… 

    If he was having sex for an hour he is not an average man.

  • I’m hiding from exercise at present – I’m in the ‘Fitness Protection Program’